Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Ali Campbell Craps Out The Classics


Ladies and gentlemen, a few words about UB40 alumnus Ali Campbell.

His new release, "Great British Songs" has hit a nerve usually reserved for Rod Stewart, American Idol, or anyone who thinks "Napoleon Dynamite" is funny.  This record has absolutely nothing going for it.

NOTHING!

This viscerally horrible release, and quite possibly the worst thing I've heard in the last 20 years, is a collection of your favorite British hits, all given the "Air Jamaica" TV ad treatment, in a soulless attempt at recreating the success of his band's 1983 LP "Labour Of Love," which was a huge hit, I suspect, because no one watching MTV had any idea that other reggae artists aside from Bob Marley existed.

Who's the brilliant putz who gave a thumbs-up to fake, white reggae versions of "Paint It Black," "Honky Tonk Woman" and "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother?"

"Great British Songs" is lazy and cheap and manufactured and unlistenable and offensive. Oh, and by the way Ali,  the guy who wrote "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" is from Passaic.

To paraphrase Peter Clemenza, "They shoulda stopped him at the beginning. They shoulda never let him get away with that. They was just asking for trouble,"

Listen for yourself. I created a 4 minute sampler of the whole record. I bet you give up after 2.

"GREAT BRITISH SONGS"

19 comments:

wool said...

I lasted 52 seconds

Fishguy said...

These clips are insufferably long! there's only "so much" home-wurlitzer-organ-with-auto-rhythm one can take.

Gene Oberto said...

This is what passes for A&R now.

Label Guy: Gee, Ali, aren't you the guy who had the big hit with that reggae song 20 years ago? Who did that song...? Ahhh..don't tell me...

Ali: The Temptations

LG: No, it wasn't them, wait, who? Oh, never mind. Look it worked then, so my idea is we now reverse the concept.

Ali: I don't follow...

LG: It's simple-THIS time you do British hits, you know old stuff from England.

Ali: Gosh, I don't know, sounds kind of trite, even desperate...

LG: Well, we can make it sound cooler by videoing you recording the songs...it'll snag the kids!

Ali: Well, in that case....!

Ken D said...

I can't get it to play... I guess my computer is looking out for me.

FD13NYC said...

Actually, in a funny, annoying, pinch your nose this stinks novelty kind of way, it's not half bad.

The sampler you put together is just enough.

mpjedi2 said...

God, I HATE "Napoleon Dynamite."

I thought I was the only one. Thank you for providing some comfort in this Holiday season, Sal.

As for the sampler...On this wave of joy, I really don't want to spoil that.

Leslie said...

I resisted the urge to pull the plug at 1:19 and 1:53, pushing on until 3:19 when at last I said, "Oh, HELL no." and ended it.

You're right. It's offensive.

I recently came across Napoleon Dynamite and took a few minutes to revisit. I must have been drunk the first time.

steve simels said...

I think the word the kids use for a record like that is "heinous."

melvinrussell said...

Hee hee hee...why don't you tell us how you really feel.

Worst in the last 20 years? I didn't think it was that terrible. Personally, I'd take it over overrated gasbags like Arcade Fire, Antony & the Johnsons,and Kings of Leon. Totally unnecessary. How about Springsteen's Magic (junk!) or Van Morrison's Astral Weeks Live at the Hollywood Bowl (can you shout any F#$king louder?)? Dudes, please stop. How about "Who let the dogs out"? Then there's the American Idol dildoes. And I think Jimmy Buffet is still cranking out stuff too. Talk about soulless cash grabs, how about continuing to waste away in Margaritaville? I could go on.

Sal Nunziato said...

Ha, Melvin! You were really getting on my good side with the mention of Arcade Fire, Antony and Kings Of Leon, three of most the overrated and unlistenable bands who have ever laid tracks to wax.

But "Magic?" Junk? Hardly, brother.

Anonymous said...

It's worse then you stated!! Much worse. I bailed on "You Really Got Me". You really got me to gag!

ROTP(lumber)

darneydoodle world said...

So Sal, will there be any extended singles available? I'm confused, do you like the record?

Marsupial said...

To be fair, I think UB40 had a few good tracks prior to the Red Red Wine days (which seemed to last forever). 'I Got Mine' stands out (in my head, anyway) as one of their better songs.

Sal Nunziato said...

Hey Marsupial,

"Food For Thought" was pretty good, too. And I, like everyone else, got on the "Labour Of Love" bus for a little while. But there were 3 sequels!

And this Ali Campbell record is still shameful.

Anonymous said...

Makes you feel bit sad really. If you remember truly great songs like King, Tyler and Madame Medusa.

Anonymous said...

i think you missed the point. this is obviously a comedy album. the joke gift of the holiday season.

Steve28 said...

1 minute 36seconds for me. As I come from Birmingham, UK, as do UB40, I have to put up with them being treated like musical Gods. AAggh.

Puffin Randy said...

Sal, Just found your blog and was working my way backwards through it and stumbled upon your Ali Campbell entry. I couldn't make it past the intro of "Paint it Black". Oh my GOD!

Can someone please make the memories of those horrible, horrible sounds go away?

jimbo said...

I only made it :19, when he tried to hit the high note on 'there'. Wow. That is powerfully bad. It sounded like a slightly higher fidelity version of something you'd hear in a subway station with a toy Casio keyboard. I confess to liking Labour of Love II, but haven't played in a long time. Perhaps that will find a box and a shelf now.