Happy Holidaze '24, Part One

(Portions of today's post were originally written in 2010)

 

 

 

It's a little over a week until Christmas day, and the spirit, not to mention those elusive tidings of comfort and joy, have yet to find their way down my chimney. It's not as if I'm fighting the spirit. I'd love to be in one of those J.C. Penney commercials, with the ugly sweaters and the hot toddies and everyone smiling at their freshly unwrapped gifts. But let's get real. This hall decking that we are supposed to embrace every year, becomes more difficult to wrap my head around as I get older. Christmas these days, feels more like a chore than a holiday. My favorite holiday is January 2nd.

As a kid, the prospect of a fat guy in a red suit delivering toys like Tommy Turtle and a Whirly-Bird was enough to keep me awake for days at a time. Of course, I never did understand why "Santa" always forgot the batteries, delaying my Christmas morning until the afternoon of the 26th. This was before the days when there was a CVS inside every CVS.

My family has always been very vocal and very critical. Traditional phrases like "That tree looks so beautiful," and "I made the egg nog myself, please have some," were generally outnumbered by such Hallmark sayings as "Don't get me anymore damn scarves!" and "Another book?" I remember being disappointed on more than one occasion. One year, my Aunt gave all her nephews a card with a ten dollar bill, except for me. She gave me a can of peanut brittle. I still don't get that one. I would have been happy with the peanut brittle if everyone got peanut brittle. But this is really not what Christmas is all about, is it?
 

At one time, the family was larger and the gift list was longer. Gifts had to be bought and sent all over the country, making the affordable and supposedly joyful experience, simply annoying, thanks to the added postage expense and the odious lines at the post office. I would anticipate this misery, so I'd pour myself a double and let it out while wrapping, so all of the gifts from me looked as if they had been wrapped at "The Lighthouse."

Then of course, there is the music. I happen to like Christmas music. The fun rock and roll tunes and the traditional Christmas hymns, both do a better job at filling that Christmas void than the hustle and bustle of what seems like everyone on Earth descending onto Midtown all at once. And yet, there is always one or two in the crowd who bark, "If I hear that Mariah Carey song one more time, I'm gonna rip the CD right out of the player!" (You know, it's the best thing she's ever done, and you don't have to play it the other 11 months of the year. So, blow it out your horn of plenty.)

I don't want to blame the family. That is too easy. The Christmas spirit reared its head more times than not, but for some reason, we have a tendency to remember the bad over the good. Or, at least I do.

One year, I had been looking for 3 special gifts, one each for my co-workers, who I had become very close to over the three year period we worked together. Joey was a Beatles' fan and a Yankees' fan. He already had a half-dozen "butcher covers," and just about every cool collectible with Lennon's face plastered on it.


After some deep searches on eBay, I found something in a place called "Fun Antiques." It was a photo proof sheet of outtakes from a Yankees' team photo from their championship season of 1978. I had never seen anything like it before. The asking price was $150, but I got it down to $110. The owner was a fan of the prog rock band Van der Graaf Generator, and I promised to find him some "bootlegs." (Never happened, by the way.)

It was a busy retail Saturday afternoon, and once things slowed down, we exchanged gifts. Joey opened his and just stared in amazement. My eyes and smile widened. "Good job," I thought.

"What is it?"

I explained the history and its scarcity. Joey giggled, as if everyone was in on the joke, "What am I supposed to do with this? Hang it on my wall?" He laughed some more. My other co-workers had frozen smiles of fear and disbelief on their faces. "Well, you could frame it. Maybe put it up in a spare bedroom, or in your music room. It's a collector's item. You don't think it's cool?"

Joey just stammered, clearly baffled by my thoughtfulness. "I just don't think it's practical." I was crushed. He was right. It wasn't "practical," but is that really what Christmas is all about? What would have been a "practical" gift? A case of toilet paper? He said, "I have yours in the car. Be right back."

He walked back into the shop with a box that was very long, taller than either of us, and very thin.  I opened it. 6 foot drumsticks from that stupid store "Think Big." I suppose they would have been very "practical" if I hadn't sold my 45 foot drum kit.

I'm thinking Christmas could actually work some day. The tree needs to be smaller. Gifts should be optional, not mandatory. Maybe it could be a little more like Ralph Kramden sees it:

"Christmas is... well, it's about the best time of the whole year. When you walk down the streets, even for weeks before Christmas comes, and there's lights hanging up, green ones and red ones, sometimes there's snow and everyone's hustling some place. But they don't hustle around Christmastime like they usually do. You know, they're a little more friendlier... they bump into you, they laugh and they say, "Pardon me. Merry Christmas"... especially when it gets real close to Christmas night. Everybody's walking home, you can hardly hear a sound. Bells are ringin', kids are singing, the snow is coming down."


I guess a Honeymooners Christmas isn't really practical either while living in New York City. It's never quiet, not even at 3AM.

As I said a few posts ago, I like my Christmas playlists to include more than just the traditional holiday fare. One friend absolutely needs to hear Mitch Miller and Burl Ives. She is not a fan of rock and roll Christmas tunes, and I imagine a playlist with non-Christmas tunes might give her the twitch. But this playlist, the first of three I will post, is what I will be enjoying over the next week.

There is nothing here that's too obscure and plenty you will have heard hundreds of times before. Maybe you'll enjoy the sequencing, or maybe you'll just stick with your own playlists. In any event, they will be here for you.

BW'S HOLIDAZE '24 VOL. 1

Deck The Halls- Charlie Hunter & Bobby Previte
The Plum Blossom- Yusef Lateef
Great Day- Andy Partridge
Snow Flakes- The Ventures
I Don't Believe In Miracles- Colin Blunstone
Wheel Of Fortune- Paul Weller
Everything- The Orlons
'Tis Night- Richard Hawley
Put The Message In The Box- World Party
Albatross- Fleetwood Mac
Deep River- Grant Green
It's A Wonderful Life- Geraint Watkins
Winter Rose/Love Awake- Wings
My Sweet Lord- The Rudies
Perfect Christmas Song- Gaspard Royant & Nicole Atkins
Cold Rain- Irma Thomas w/David Torkanowsky
Ode To Joyful- Jon Batiste
Bring Another Drink- Nat "King" Cole
We're No Exception- Jon Cleary
Sister's Chant- Judy Mowatt
Christmas At The Airport- Nick Lowe

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