Friday, December 5, 2014

A Weekend Mix & A Friday Rant

I am well aware of the fact that my little complaints about everything from lousy weather to delayed flights to hipsters, the Grammy Awards and back, are nothing in comparison to real problems and issues that so many struggle with on a daily basis.

That being said...

My cousin and I went on a record buying excursion, by appointment, to the very south of New Jersey, in a place known as Toms River. It was a place that promised riches and gold and music and lollipops and wax lips and most of all, "over 40,000 records, all in great shape." I was skeptical. So was my cousin, but he stayed positive. Someone had to and that someone was not going to be me.

The owner of said records greeted us at the door and within two minutes of entering his home, tried selling us Lionel Trains, a used Hewlett-Packard printer and an autographed Kiss mirror which he was "asking two million dollars for, but not really, but you know what I mean, like I want close to that." He asked if we wanted to see "a really cool jukebox." I choked out a "sure." But then, he couldn't find the picture on his computer. But we did get to see pictures of his daughter playing piano, a dinner party given by his wife, and an old record player he was about to put on eBay for "$45,000. We'll see. Someone will want it."

He finally took us to the basement, which resembled the last scene in "Raiders Of The Lost Ark." There they were. 40,000 records. Boxes, floor to ceiling, wall to wall. Loose records. Records all over the place. Records!!

I was skeptical.

I asked about cost. Three times!

Here were the promises made:

"You will leave here with what you want."
"You are friends of a friend, so you can cherry-pick."
"We wll both make money."
"I am not a museum."
"Don't worry, have fun."

I was skeptical.

Twenty minutes later, after rummaging through 5 boxes and finding about 30 records. I stepped back. Something wasn't right. I went upstairs and asked again. "Can you please give me an idea of what you're asking for these records? My cousin and I don't want to go through all of these boxes and then have you turn down an offer."

He replied, "No offer has ever been turned down. We will both be happy. I am not a museum."

Three hours later, covered in soot, asbestos and who knows what else, we completed about 10% of the stash and decided to call it, assuming we'd be back at some point.

We found hundreds of records, but had to settle for 173, as we had a budget.

Some very nice titles, though only a dozen or so real gems were found. Most were just good solid titles, Patti Smith, the Stones, Bruce, Pink Floyd, etc.. Some nice punk and soul. Rarest things we found were Richie Sambora's first band Message and a mono Little Eva record. Nice records. Good condition, but not mint. We made an offer. It was not only fair, but more than our usual offer. We wanted to come back.

This arrogant, crude, humorless, condescending excuse for a man, started taking one LP at a time and asking us what we were going to do with the records. "Is this for resale or to keep?" "You know what this goes for?" I did know what "it" went for. He didn't. When I asked about a record on Epic I had never seen before, by a band called West, he offered this choice bit of information, "They were a band on Epic."

He counter-offered a price that was exactly four times what we offered. We were speechless. He asked again, "What are you going to do with that Jeff Lynne?" It was a 12" of his solo single "Doin' That Crazy Thing." I said, "I'm a fan, so I'll probably keep it." He said, "Look here. A french picture sleeve 45 went for $62." "Okay," I said, "but this isn't a French picture sleeve 45." At that point, I wanted him to eat the Jeff Lynne 12".

We were livid. We left with nothing, leaving this pompous asshole in his museum with his records, trains and used printers. He said, "Ah, that Brazilian know him? You read about him, the one who buys everything? He's coming. He'll take it all. It'll all be gone in two weeks."

Thanks, jerk-off.

Out of respect for his wife and children, I will not mention his name. But he is out there, with a website and some fine endorsements. But as a public service announcement, I will offer this:

This guy is a creep and liar. He wasted our time and will waste yours. Have I mentioned that he was a condescending pompous ass?

Thanks for your time.

Here is an Ian McLagan-centric mix for your weekend.


Had Me A Real Good Time- Faces
What'Cha Gonna Do About It- Small Faces
Little Bit Of Love- Dwight Twilley
The Word- Bettye Lavette
My Way Of Giving- Small Faces
Monday- Wilco
Glad & Sorry- Faces
The Truth, the Whole Truth, Nothing But The Truth- Ian Hunter
Song Of A Baker- Small Faces
Can't Buy My Love- Barbara Lynn
Deep Six Saturday- Tommy Keene
Too Bad- Faces
Slangshotz & Boomerangz- C.C. Adcock & the Lafayette Marquis
Debris- Faces
You Need Loving- Small Faces
If I Should Fall Behind- Bruce Springsteen
Oo La La- Faces



Anonymous said...

Hello, please remain seated,

Heckuva rant, you old fart (jay-kay, as my kids would say.)! Are you sure you didn't inadvertantly stumble into a Tarantino or Cohen Brothers reality show? There's definitely a script to be made from your treck to Tom's River.

Oh,and, great tracklist. The Bruce tune is one of my faves. What a great love song.


William Repsher said...

Well ... you know the downside of the mentalities associated with record stores ... most of them (the stores) might be gone, but that mentality never dies!

Re: Mack's mix. Solid stuff, but you could use a track or two from his last few solo albums. He had a ragged voice, but it worked in the context of what he was doing. "Hello Old Friend" would be most likely candidate, but each album he put out had solid tracks worth hearing.

Sal Nunziato said...

William, I know it's a glaring omission, but for some reason, I had no solo Mac digitized.

buzzbabyjesus said...

"Had Me A Real Good Time" is my other favorite Faces song. "Skinky girl made it clear that she only came here for the beer" gets me every time. I think "Too Bad" is about the same party.

dogbreath said...

Excellent telling of the tale. Perhaps not on a par with Bunyan's "The Pilgrim's Progress", but it brightens up no end (by being able to laugh at others misfortunes!) my dull-by-comparison, sedate existence in which such things don't happen! This is why I enjoy your blog: the stories (or rants if you prefer) and, of course, the very fine mixes. And none finer than the one dedicated to Ian McLagan (nice story about him the other day btw), may he RIP. Hope you get the weekend you want. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

I was thinking of the Bonnie Raitt album that the Bump Band played on, Green Light, but the tracks available on youtube all have the keyboards buried.

The rant is righteous. otoh, whenever I've wasted more than an hour in a store and found nothing, I console myself with the thought that if I'd never gone I would always be wondering what treasure I missed, but now I can write that place off.


Hey Sal.

Mix looks fun; thanks!

With respect to your well informed rant ... I'm reminded there are more horses asses in the world than there are horses!

Have a great weekend.

Shriner said...

Great story! I feel bad for your wasted time.

But it made a great story, nonetheless! Thanks for taking one for the team...

William Repsher said...

Addendum: best Mac moment for me would be towards the end of "Love Lives Here" when the song breaks down to just his organ solo before Kenny Jones' drums kick in and lead the rest of the band back in.

Anonymous said...

well.... it was jersey. you should have posted his name, cause an asshat like that got it somewhere first. as far as what you were going to do with them, what was he going to do? play 'em, stockpile 'em or just hold them hostage.

(just another rant from someone who still like vinyl.)

Anonymous said...

Hi Sal

There are still a lot of people out there that rate their knowledge above all else and take a myopic view of things. Great share regarding Ian.



cmealha said...

I hear Toms River is nice this time of the year.

steves said...

Hey, look on the bright side: You got a great rant out of it.

And thanks for the terrific Mac mix, Sal.

Hope your weekend improves from here.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Sal for the Bizarro-"Hi Fidelity" story - man, that's frustrating...though you have given us a great story at your expense. And thanks for the tribute to Mac. Weirdly enough, on Cyber Monday (actually Tuesday) I was hovering over picking up his latest, "United States" on vinyl, but thought I shouldn't because I should save money for my kids' Christmas. After I heard the news, I immediately purchased a copy. The first line of "Shalala": "It's a big thrill to be here today". I lost it...Paul

Anything Should Happen said...

This sort of thing and the fact that I was told that we were downsizing is what made me stop and actually listen to some of the stuff that I have. I'm finding all sorts of stuff that I'd forgotten I had as I get organised. Everyone seems to be a collecting expert these days, I blame the government etc etc.

hpunch said...

Let's just hope "The Brazilian Guy" gives him a Brazilian wax