Something's been happening over the last six months, though it can be argued that it's been happening for a few years. Where I once had a draft of ideas I was excited about sharing, not knowing what I should post first from a long list of possibilities, I seem to have lost the inspiration. Not the desire, just the inspiration.
This is absolutely not another one of those, "I've had it, I'm taking a break" posts.
This is about something else.
Why the hell am I more excited by discovering that Pink Floyd's "Animals" is a much better record than I ever remembered and less excited by the new Tom Petty produced record by The Shelters. And what might make this more interesting is that, I really like The Shelters record and yet, I just don't have the urge to go back in for a third or fourth spin. So I find myself sitting at the keyboard, deciding to gush over "Animals," but stopping myself when I think, "Really? Do readers really give a crap about this record 40 years later?" Then I start writing about The Shelters, but stop after I type, "This is like a really good Tom Petty record," thinking, "Yeah, that's all it is. Next!"
So, I write nothing and find, I don't mind.
I cannot do homework. I don't want a list of new bands to search on Spotify, so I can sample a minute or so of each song from 10 different records, trying to find "the one." It's rare, these days, that I would, even if I did. Know what I'm saying?
I read a lot. Mojo and Uncut used to be bibles, but now if 150 records are reviewed, 148 of them get 4 and 5 stars, and only 3 or 4 of them deserve it and then those 3 or 4 end up being The Shelters, which is great, kind of.
I think what I am writing now, I've written before, so I am trying to keep this from being another rant on the state of music or the "good old days," because it is really not what I am feeling. Honest.
What I am feeling is not wanting to feel like I need to do something. I don't like feeling I should like Courtney Barnett or Leon Bridges anymore than feeling like I need to see fireworks on Independence Day. It's more about wanting to feel comfortable and content writing about how great The Lovin' Spoonful are, again, or simply writing nothing. Or doing nothing. Nothing is okay.
(Is anyone still reading?)
That being said, I woke up blank again. Well, not completely. I listened to The Beatles "Help" yesterday and decided it is the only Beatles record I prefer in stereo over mono. I also listened to Iggy Pop's "The Idiot" and thought I'd write something about how David Bowie should have produced more artists during his career. I've been listening to a lot of classic jazz records, like "Saxophone Colossus" from Sonny Rollins and Coltrane's "Giant Steps" and thought about all those trips to New Orleans and seeing some of best live jazz out there. But all I could say about all of that, you just read.
Maybe I need a real smack. Or a trip to Lourdes.
Whatever it is, I just wanted to say hello. I want to write and I want to share music. I want to have great discussions. But I'm feeling less willing to work at it. It's a lot more fun not pretending.