Blast From The Past: Real Reviews From The NYCD Newsletter, Volume One

 

 

My brief review of the new Neil Young & Crazy Horse record got me thinking back to my days of retail. The shop sent out a weekly newsletter which then became a weekly blog. My partner and I would begin with some headlines, then write up just about every new release, and if a Tuesday was a particularly slow release day, we'd write about something else. The newsletter was supposed to sell CDs, but instead, it mostly made people laugh. Each newsletter would have a different sign off, which was always more popular than the music we were trying to sell.

I decided to share some these reviews from time to time, especially on days when my inspiration is taking a disco nap. Almost all of these had been written in 2006 and 2007, when our brick and mortar had already shut down and we had reassembled in a midtown office, doing mail order and special orders by appointment. To say my partner and I were bitter by this time is the understatement of the year. 

(h/t T.S.)

 

SOME HEADLINES:

VP CHENEY STABS SCOTT McLELLAN WITH FORK
"I thought he was a knockwurst," said Cheney. In related news, Maureen Dowd hits Bush in back of head with frying pan. "I just wanted to hear 'DOINK!'," says Dowd.

MARY J. BLIGE FINALLY FINDS RIGHT KEY!
Unfortunately, it was for her mailbox.

CARS ON THE ROAD
The "new" Cars will be touring without its two principals- Ric Ocasek, and the late Benjamin Orr. Rock Legend Todd Rundgren, who is quickly becoming the Dan Hedaya of rock, has signed on as lead singer. Rundgren has also signed on as bassist for Loverboy, keyboardist for Quarterflash, and bullpen catcher for the Philadelphia Phillies.
 

 

ROBERT POLLARD - CRICKETS. It's been at least two weeks since Robert Pollard put out a new record, so the fans are getting antsy. Features the usual drums made out of aluminum foil, amps running on C batteries, and vocals sung through a bullhorn. Low-fi and lovin' it!

 

JEFF BUCKLEY - SO REAL. A 14 track best-of featuring songs from all one and a half of his albums, plus live tracks from his three live records and alternate takes from his two posthumously released outtakes records, AND a brand new outtake which is a cover of the Smiths' "I Know It's Over!" We look forward to Sony's Essential Jeff Buckley CD, due out sometime next year, which will feature these same tracks, less one outtake. Barrel scrapers rejoice!

JON ANDERSON & GUESTS - "IN ELVEN LANDS: FELLOWSHIP." Founding member of prog-legends YES, and now full-time fairy, Jon Anderson releases his long-awaited solo record, creating music inspired by the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien. How original! Songs in Elvish, English, and Anglo-Saxon. Could be the party record of 2006, if you're a loser. 

THE DOORS - "LIVE IN PHILADELPHIA." Another archival release from the Bright Midnight label. This one is from the "Morrison Hotel" tour, recorded in 1970 at the Spectrum in Philadelphia. Apparently this is the tour where Morrison kept his shlong in his pants and rocked the house. A great setlist and great sound.

WANDA JACKSON - "I REMEMBER ELVIS." The Queen of Rockabilly pays tribute to her close friend Elvis Presley, with liner notes by another close friend, Elvis Costello. Apparently, Costello kept his shlong in his pants and really wrote up a storm for these liner notes.

THE TEMPTATIONS - "REFLECTIONS." 45 years after their inception, and with one original member still standing, the band sings the best of Motown. 15 new recordings of songs by their labelmates. (Line forms to the right.)
 

UNTIL NEXT WEEK, WE LEAVE YOU WITH THIS:

How do you know when Meg White is at your front door?

She doesn't know when to come in.

Your friends,
Greg Lake, Billy Ocean, Roger Waters, Johnny Rivers, Dinah Shore, and Sid Tributary