There's a scene early on in Cameron Crowe's modern day classic "Say
Anything," where John Cusack and his sister Joan, playing brother and
sister in the film, have a very brief but meaningful spat.
Joan's character is whining and complaining about minor
everyday irritations, and continues by taking some of her hostility out
on her brother. So he asks her, "How hard is it to get in a good mood?" He
continues with, "I'm sorry Tim left you, but I am not Tim. You were
hilarious once."
How hard is it to get in a good mood? With apologies to carolers all over the world, a good bouncy version of "Here We Come A-Wassailing" isn't enough.
I was "hilarious once." Still am, actually. But not this
week. No sir. I am not a funny guy during Christmas week.
Every year I see friends and family getting pushed to the edge while
trying desperately to display what we've come to understand as necessary
behavior for the Christmas holidays. They try to muster an acceptable
attitude, when deep in their hearts, they'd like nothing more than to
not be pressured or guilted into spending money, having to be somewhere,
or suddenly having to sport a jawlocking grin because some
Clydesdales are galloping through the snow. This Christmas, I'd love to
see those who feel it, to feel it with all their hearts. And those that
don't, to be given a free pass. Sometimes, you just don't feel it. It's
not a crime, and no one should be made to feel that it is.
So maybe you're thinking, "It's once a year, Ebenezer! Get into the spirit!"
Fair enough, but what about the other 358 days of the year when most couldn't give a flying fugu about whether you've got the spirit, or if you've hit a rough patch? Where are those holly jolly elves in February and June? I swear on a stack of Trouser Press magazines, I was not born cynical.
I used to have some fantastic Christmases. Most were before I was 25
years old. Most were before I didn't have a care in the world. But as
you get older, your responsibilities change. And so do your priorities.
And so do your feelings. Christmas is really not the "most wonderful
time of the year." It's the most unforgiving stretch of pressure and
must-dos that inevitably make the broke broker and those already on the verge, break completely.
One year, when asked what I wanted for Christmas, I replied, "I don't
care. It's not about that. Anything or nothing is fine." I won't reveal
who asked me, but this was her reply, "What's wrong with you? Can't you
make this easy for me?" To avoid a holiday smackdown, I simply said, "A
new Yankees cap. That should be easy enough." Christmas Eve, I opened my
box, and it was a Mets cap. I couldn't help my reaction. I'm sure my
face changed just a bit, but I said, "Wow. This is great. Thank you."
"What's wrong," she asked, "you made a face."
"Well," I said, "this is a
Mets cap."
"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID!"
No, it wasn't. I came out of the womb in a Mickey Mantle jersey, and almost everyone who knows me, knows that. Almost.
Ultimately, I didn't care. I still have the Mets cap. It came from Billy Martin's Western Wear and has a snakeskin brim. I've never worn it, and it wasn't cheap. But it's the thought, right?
I can't be the one person on Earth who thinks that Christmas is the only time of the year when you can be surrounded by the greatest people and still feel lonely and miserable. And if I'm not the only one who feels this, I want to know why, and how do we change that.
How hard is it to get in a good mood?
Let's just say, I am doing my best.
Thanks for reading.
And now...your second holiday mix! Please enjoy.
TRACKLIST
Joy To The World- The Fab Four
Everyday Will Be Like A Holiday- Reckless Sleepers
Time For The Sun To Rise- Earl King
You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To- Art Pepper
Christmas Time Is Here- Vince Guaraldi Trio
Candy Cane Lane- Sia
A Dream Goes On Forever- Fernando Perdomo
Driving Home For Christmas- Chris Rea
Charity Shop Window- A Girl Called Eddy
No Religion- Van Morrison
Sunset & the Mockingbird- Tommy Flanagan
Do You Hear What I Hear- Spiraling
Blackberry Winter- Keith Jarrett
Cloud Nine- Charlie Rich
Stella By Starlight- Ray Charles
Me & Magdalena- The Monkees
A Merry Jingle- The Greedies
Better Things- The Kinks
Merry Christmas Baby- Charles Brown
Old Fashioned Christmas- Duke Pearson
13 comments:
Back in the 90's, Charles Brown would play Kimball's East in Emeryville in December, once with Ruth Brown along. Those gigs put me in the holiday mood each time.
I used the same approach last week, though the music was not seasonal. The result was the same, though this time, the effect started before the show. As I walked through the center of town on the way to the club, the Friday night crowd didn't annoy me; they were all cheerful and psyched for a great night out, whatever their plans were. A super performance from the band and an enthusiastic audience only helped. To get a taste of the show, try https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsnuvHGsyK8
- Paul in DK
Sal - I don't why but I always assumed you were a Mets fan. But I digress. Like you I now look at Christmas as a holiday to endure rather than anticipate. Years ago, my wife and I decided not to exchange gifts with each other and then we extended that to our siblings and their kids. That alleviates a lot of pressure surrounding Christmas. Also means we're not wasting money.
That being said, wishing you and yours a very "Murray" Christmas. Enjoy some eggnog!
I know you're not particularly partial to actual Christmas music, but maybe some readers are. If you must listen to Christmas music, you can't go wrong with The Roches We Three Kings from 1990. Style is all over the map from reverent to humorous, and of course the harmonies are beautiful.
I love actual Christmas music. And I love The Roches, who I used to see every year as the Caroling Carolers. "We Three Kings" is fantastic. I simply enjoy mixes that incorporate non-Christmas songs more.
BTW, our pussycat Mickey is a rescue from the Bronx, which is why we named him after Mr. Mantle.😒
I like your mixes, too, and your picks are great as usual. I wish I could have seen the Caroling Carolers.
"Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."
I too don't like being strongarmed into Xmas cheer. I feel it when I feel it, and sometimes I don't.
Also, I consider "Acadie" by Daniel Lanois a wonderful Yuletide album.
You want to know why? You said it: "It's the most unforgiving stretch of pressure and must-dos that inevitably make the broke broker and those already on the verge, break completely." That's the answer. As much as I love the music, the lights, the decorations - even my own tree that I painstakingly try to make perfect for NOBODY - every year I just want to finally join a monastery and live the life of a monk. Do I blame my mother for starting the over the board gift buying and all this nonsense 50 years ago? Absolutely! I tried to break the cycle, but couldn't. You are not alone. How do we change it? My sister, one year, spent Christmas Day bringing blankets and food to the homeless. Maybe that's part of the answer.
The music helps. I love the idea of incorporating non-Christmas songs in the mix. It's more realistic.
Please share a picture of that snakeskin Mets cap!
Well this mix cheers me up and I thank you for that. And I too want to see a photo of that cap!
Sometimes it does get really overwhelming, and that can take the joy right out of it. I try not to let anything feel too forced and just take whatever pleasure of the season appears to me. That means there are times when I might seem out of sorts, but I'm just removing myself from the scenarios where I am trying to live up to someone else's expectations. As I get older, I do take comfort in revisiting old memories, such as a dear family friend singing 'O, Holy Night' every Christmas Eve or my daughters' absolute glee as they gave me pajamas with Grumpy of the 7 Dwarves on them.
I also take pleasure in listening to Bruce Cockburn's Christmas album and making a plate of beignets for me & the missus.
Nice Jewish boy from South Louisiana here, not the biggest fan of Christmas music, but If you like Cockburn--it's good for its genre, though at our house The Roches win hands down--the original Frankie 'Half-Pint' Jaxon & The Cottentop Mountain Sanctified Singers "Early on One Christmas Morn" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_D27UcMy9I is worth its weight in, er, holly...
I think this time of year, while it's certainly about the holidays and their pressures, is also a reminder of a year ending and another swiftly on its way (and they do speed up) and, at least for me, it can't help but bring a sense of melancholy (at least) for all that that entails, i.e., regrets, self-reflection, whatever morass you might get stuck in. --Muzak McMusics
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