Monday, January 11, 2010

The Sumner Wind Came Blowing In (OR, We Loves You, Gordy)

As an experiment, I did a little tweaking and posted "Sting, Where Is Thy Death" on the "Comedy" page of The Huffington Post. It seems music commentary gets less and less respect these days, so my air time over there usually gets pre-empted by the most recent celebrity nipple slip or some other "Entertainment (?)" headline. I decided to give "comedy" a go. So far, the post has been featured for two days. I also found out, based on the comments left, that the Sting fans who read HP are about as hilarious as the man himself. I think my point was missed. Take a look at my three favorite comments below:

I don't understand your perspective- I never heard anyone say they didn't like Sting. Here is why I do: he is uniquely talented and constantly exploring. He shows are excellent and he fills his band with musicians that matter- they are among the best shows I have ever seen.

I don't hate him, but I don't think about him much. I'm cool with the beard and I suspect he gave the performance in Dune that David Lynch was looking for.

And my fave-

I like Sting. Have all his music including his newest. Additionally, if you don't like his beard, don't look at him. If you don't care for his music, don't listen to it. If you can do better - musically and lyrically - then I await your record. His personal life, which includes his sex life, is HIS business, not yours or anyone else's. I'm forever amazed at how much people decide what is right and wrong for someone they don't even know and never will. Peace.


I double-checked and I did indeed post it on the "comedy" page. Now I understand that maybe my little goofy post wasn't quite "All's Well That Ends Well," but jeez, is it The Stuffington Post, or what? How about a group stick-from-ass removal? I suggest all of you going over there and telling these humorless bores a thing or two about snark.

There were more comments defending Der Stingle (thanks Power Pop,) as well as one or two that were genuinely funny. You can check the rest out here.

As for my loyal and hilarious readers, I want to thank you for playing. I was looking for a little fun and you all got on board. Nicely done. All the fine entries can be found in the comments section of the original post. But, my favorite and the winner is:

Why do we hate Sting? Two words - 'Trudie' and 'Styler'- Mrs Sting...oops, sorry - Lady Sting of Dourly Humourless Manor, I should say. Yes, yes, there's all that typical Stingy Ashtanga nonsense, rhyming 'Nabakov' with 'he starts to shake, he starts to cough', him in a loincloth emoting in the Amazon, Dune, the earnest plucking of Medieval instruments, Dune, (because one simply cannot emphasize that enough) and the fact he's really called Gordon...Gordon! I ask you...But really it's all about the Trudie, isn't it? The woman who flies an entourage of 8 people - including her hairdresser - around in a private jet and then lectures the rest of us on how it's the oil companies that are ruining the universe... Pre-Trudie we had 'Roxanne', great hair and stand-up fights with the drummer. Post Trudie? Yes well, look around. I rest my case...

Thank you TNP!

Send me an e-mail with your address and which CD you'd like.

Now, I must get to work on my album, so that I may continue to voice my opinions.


Anonymous said...

Hi Sal,
Not a comment on the sting story, but I couldn't find another place for this request. I have been turned onto your blog by a friend and I love it! The only blog I follow!
I am sure you have somewhere at sometime posted or written about great rock books that you have read and recommend. I would love to see that list or if there isn't one perhaps a new one is in order. Thanks so much.

Sal Nunziato said...

Hi Anon,

Thanks for reading!

No I never posted my list of fave rock books, though I just may.

In the meantime, my absolute favorite of all time is Nick Tosches' "Unsung Heroes Of Rock & Roll."

I'll get to the other 9 soon.

Fishguy said...

I Think "Jilted John" Said it best, Sal;

"Gordon is a Moron, Gordon is a Moron, Gordon is a Moron, Gordon is a Moron"

charlie c. said...

Although I consider myself both 'loyal' and 'hilarious' -- time constraints prohibited me from playing. I do certainly continue to read and look forward with somewhat bated breath for the next "group stick-from-ass removal" or at least the "puke in a bag" (was that a contest too?!?)