Monday, June 20, 2011
You're A Friend Of Mine
I lost my father in 1994. Those closest to me know, it was much earlier than that. I'm thinking about this now for a few reasons, the most obvious being Father's Day, and the least obvious being the death of Clarence Clemons. The reasons in between are no less significant, but they may be a bit more complicated. I'm on the fence about whether this is the proper forum. Still, it is my forum.
In short, one of my oldest and dearest friends is experiencing his first Father's Day without his dad. Someone else very dear to me is currenty at his father's bedside, for possibly their last minutes together. Finally, the most complicated, is a situation I just don't think I could do justice to in a few paragraphs and this really isn't the place. The most complicated of the lot is a situation that I believe will just have to fix itself. Though, I am losing hope.
Where does the "Big Man" come into play? Well, the news of Clarence Clemons death hit me harder than I expected it to. I realized in just a few passing minutes, just how much the "Big Man" meant to me. How the sound of his horn found its way through the darkness of many nights where I desperately needed some light, and how the passing of such a giant shouldn't be set aside just because we are not related.
My friends came to mind. Friends who have supported me and respected me. Friends who have seen the worst of me, and still, continue to enjoy the best of me, even if on certain days, the Hubble Telescope is needed to spot even the faintest signs of pleasure. I am a hard pill to swallow. No one knows that more than me.
I thought about that last, complicated situation, and how I'd bet dollars to donuts, he'd somehow find fault in my grief over a sax player. How he, though related, could somehow "not stand me" because I have genuine feelings...such as he. But they are not the same feelings, so I am the enemy.
Blood is thicker than water. Is that a good thing?
The death of the "Big Man" is significant. I'm going to miss him. Just as I miss my father. But I think I am old enough to not have to explain anymore, why music, and the people who make it, affect me more than family. Clarence has never passed judgement. He's just made it a point to make me...and you, happy. Good job, Big Man.