Thursday, September 15, 2016


I started a blog in 2013 called "It's Only Mock N Roll." It was inspired by The Onion, as well as the ridiculous goings-on in the music industry. I was happy with what I was writing, and I got help from some friends with ideas and photo-shop. I think I might resurrect it. Below is a sample.


The Boss, never one to turn his back on the great state of New Jersey or its people, has signed a deal with local chef and entrepreneur Johnny Candiotti, allowing Candiotti full use of anything E-Street Band related for his new Long Branch restaurant "Candi's Room."

Candiotti, a fan who has seen Springsteen perform over 200 times, says "I was really shocked that Bruce said yes. The only contact I've ever had with Bruce was when I had first row at the Capitol Theatre in 1978, and he stepped on my hand climbing back onto the stage after Mona. This really was a surprise. The guy's a gem. He sure loves New Jersey."

The Boss himself issued this brief statement:

"Johnny's fantastic! Enthusiastic! Dynastic! Ecclesiastic!  So eat his food New Jersey!"

Items on the menu will include:

The Cadillac Ranch Burger w/Mary Queen Of Arkanslaw

Big Man's Clams On The Half Shell

Veal Federici

Meats Of Philadelphia
(Cheese-steak slider sampler, comes with a Rosa-liter of Iced Tea)

American Potato Skins
(41 Tots)

Fungal Land
(Roy Bittan's Stuffed Mushroom Platter)

Breakfast will also be served on weekends, with your usual fare of muffins, juices and coffee, as well as what Candiotti hopes will be the eatery's signature breakfast dishes.

The E-Street Waffle
(with Patti's sausage)

Eggs Weinberg

(3-minute eggs, though time may vary) 

There will be a full bar, as well as a private area for fine wines and chocolate, called "The Vino Lopez Room"


kevin m said...

Well that made this morning's coffee at work that much more enjoyable! I'd be scared to order any of these items!

Anonymous said...

Hello, please remain seated,

Brilliant! Eggs Weinberg made me laugh out loud!

One hopes they'll soon add Kitty's (Baby) Back Ribs to the menu.


buzzbabyjesus said...

Ah, I remember "It's Only Mock And Roll".

Mary Queen of Arknslaw indeed!

Chris Collins said...

"Veal Federici" made me laugh out loud.

steve simels said...

Okay, you just made expel iced tea onto my computer screen.

Anonymous said...

With anybody else besides Bruce this might come true. The Stones maybe?

Captain Al

jeff said...

really brilliant.

soundsource said...

Mother Fucker your back........ Mo please mo.......

Anonymous said...

The late great drummer of the Posies, Darius Minwalla, dreamed up a Rush-themed Italian restaurant called Spaghetti Lee's. He had a whole bunch of dishes, but I only remember a few: YYZiti, Working Manicotti, Red Bruschetta.

Kinda genius.


Michael Giltz said...

We live in such times that I saw the headline and assumed it was true.