Thursday, July 29, 2010
"Guilty? Pleasure?"- #1: John Mayer
When I was but a teenager, I put together a cassette of my least favorite songs by my favorite artists. I never played it. I'm thinking this may happen to you if I move forward with this "guilty pleasures" mix. Too much at once is a risk. Readership is already down. But if I pass the songs along in small doses, you might just pay attention and enjoy the music.
I'd like to start with the colossal douchebag known as John Mayer. I've despised this trainwreck from the day "Your Body Is A Wonderland" sent me running to the bathroom to "sell Buicks" over the toiletbowl. Another one of his hits, "Daughters," is just as insipid. Then came his attempt to legitimize with his Steve Jordan and Pino Palladino trio, which was just boring R&B, played safe for the people who bought "Your Body Is A Wonderland." Some heavy duty musicians believe in this guy and his guitar playing. I'm happy for them. I think he's third rate.
Don't get me started on his painfully misguided answers spread across many an interview.
“Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!"
See? Do you really want to spare 4 minutes for this putz?
If you're still with me...
His most recent release, "Battle Studies," has not one, but five perfect pop songs. I resisted, and even now have very heavy hands as I try to peck this info out for you. But good music is good music, and I am a sucker for hooks and melodies.
Here is one of them.