Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Real Scenes From A Record Fair: Part 2

Woman casually flipping through records, not really looking.

WOMAN: So what do you sell records for these days?

ME: I'm sorry?

Woman puts on a sour grin. Shakes me off.

(uncomfortable silence)

WOMAN: Do you also buy records? I have about 900.

ME: Sure. Big collections and small. What kind of music?

WOMAN: Rock.

ME: Good condition?

WOMAN: Yeah!

ME: Sure, would love to take a look.

WOMAN: I'm not selling. I don't play them, but I still buy them. Bought 15 records last week. I like collecting.

(I start rifling through my satchel for my medication, consider walking across the Asbury Park boardwalk and into the ocean.)

Woman sees my business cards on the table.

WOMAN: This is you?

ME: Yes. Take a card and if you decide to sell, call me.

WOMAN: Thank you.

Woman walks away without taking a card.


William Repsher said...

The woman thinks to herself, "What a disagreeable, oafish fellow. You really meet some weirdoes at these record fairs."

She gazes off into the Atlantic Ocean on the Asbury Park boardwalk and yearns to be back in her home in Fanwood, in the highest branch of the oak tree in the backyard, wrapping and unwrapping a basketball-sized clump of aluminum foil.

A walk in the woods said...

People so cray-cray!

Anonymous said...

It's very true that there are fewer women who collect seriously, but I'm sure you must know that there are just as many moronic males wandering through record show/store aisles. Believe me, I encountered many of them during the time I worked at the best vintage record store in North America during the '80s. Just in case some of your readers aren't aware - record collecting, like video gaming, is NOT strictly a male domain!


Noam Sane said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning, Sal. That's a classic.

Anonymous said...

Hello, please remain seated,

Love the post and love William's response. Too funny. I worked retail as a kid in the local drug store. Wasn't cut out for it.


Ken D said...

These are funnier than nearly every sketch on SNL nowadays. They're Key & Peele-worthy. More!

Anonymous said...

Is there a part 3?

Capt. Al

itsok2beright said...

"Do you also buy records"?

No, I have a record making machine in my basement that makes used records.

Sal Nunziato said...

"No, I have a record making machine in my basement that makes used records.?

Haha. If only...

iggy said...

Sal, I love your "scenes from a record sale"! I've lived through so many sales and heard so many similar comments over the years. You gotta laugh. I have finally arrived at a sale strategy that has worked for a couple of years: all records $3 until 3pm, then $2. No other discounts. No hassles, no muss, no fuss. If I like the buyer I'll knock off a bit more just to be nice. I do have a big NO BOZOS sign in the front of my table. Maybe that helps! Thanks again for sharing.